Reviews

Don’t S*** Your Pants Review

A timeless classic, Don’t S*** Your Pants is still relevant to today’s gamers.

Ted Polak
810

Adventure games are back in a big way, and it’s great to see. However, there are games that have carried the torch for many years while this genre slumbered. I wanted to highlight one of the unsung heroes of this era: Don’t S*** Your Pants.

Don’t S*** Your Pants has a very simple premise: You desperately need to poop, and you want to do it the right way: In a toilet. That’s it. In an era of complicated, labyrinthine plots, it is sublimely refreshing to have just one goal to work towards. However, just because you have a clear goal doesn’t mean there’s no one way to achieve it; Don’t S*** Your Pants boasts 10 endings.

The game features a classic text-based input, like Maniac Mansion or even Zork. I’m also surprised by the risks Don’t S*** Your Pants is willing to take in its narrative. (Spoiler warning!) If you choose to take off your pants, your avatar is rendered with complete full frontal nudity. A bold choice indeed, considering your avatar is not attractive. (End spoiler warning!)

Don’t S*** Your Pants might have a clear goal, but there is something wonderful in failure, that sometimes failure feels as good as success. You made it to the toilet, but you forgot to take off your pants. You took off your pants, but you didn’t make it to the toilet. If the game has any weaknesses, it’s that once you get all the possible endings, there’s no realistic replay value.

Ultimately, Don’t S*** Your Pants is a short experience, but one that will stick with you for a while. You can play it here.

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  • token420

    -2 for no replay ?its free! 10/10. there is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with don’t shit your pants. it is a perfect piece of software. EA cannot write a 10/10 game with 1000 developers and a million dollars. dont shit your pants can.

  • http://www.gamerhorizon.com/ Ted Polak

    I just feel like Don’t S*** Your Pants fails to live up to its total potential. 8/10 is a very favorable review score.

  • token420

    I guess there is room for some improvement in Don’t S*** Your Pants come to think of it. OK you got me. Honestly I was feeling really emotional when I wrote that Don’t S*** Your Pants deserves a 10. The thing is we are now living in a world where games like Don’t S*** Your Pants are on the cutting edge of what gamers really want. Don’t S*** Your Pants is DRM-free, works properly when launched, is not prone to 3 hour updates unexpectedly, provides a consistent gaming experience, and actually improves the reputation of its manufacturer with each and every play. Don’t S*** Your Pants also has one of those age-old classic gaming conventions–its fun to lose! Don’t S*** Your Pants’s AI can be trusted to do the exact same thing every time, and when it comes to poop-related issues the last thing anyone needs is unexpected results. I guess what it really comes down to is value. Don’t S*** Your Pants has value for what it costs, which reminds me– I would pay money for Don’t S*** Your Pants. Gamers today have a lot of choices to make. Financial. Political. And there’s just not enough time in a day to play everything. One has to make hard choices, and even at 8/10 I personally will go for a few rounds of Don’t S*** Your Pants over several other “more popular” video games.